A few months ago I shared in one of my sermons that something I struggle with is anxiety. Thankfully, I’ve stepped forward in coping with it, even beginning a small group at church covering the book “The Anxious Christian”, but still have a road ahead of me. I become very anxious in certain situations that have lots of risk, lots of uncertainty, and lots of opportunities for failure.
Fear of failure is one of the things I’ve always struggled with and contributes to how I conduct myself while working, how I react in situations, and how I live out my relationships with people. This is something that can dominate my thinking and make my life a living hell. It sucks worrying that my actions can cause the worst thing to happen in a situation. And these are moments that anxiety sets in.
There’s a lot happening in my life currently. A relationship that is 10 months old. Things happening in my family back at home. A church that is having its identity reshaped. A busy schedule. Along with just the daily things I need to do. There is an ample amount of possibilities for me to fail. And because of this, I’ve been quite anxious.
So as I opened my Bible this morning, I figured I would head to a passage that has read a few times this week that would provide some kind of comfort. The end of Romans 8 is that comforting section. However, being a theologian, it’s impossible for me to read just a few verses without context, so I read the entire chapter. Little did I know that the anxiety I was dealing with would open my eyes to a new way to approach my fear of failing.
Sin is ultimately a failure to follow God in the Divine-human relationship. It is a failure to acknowledge and do God’s way. Obviously I have linked the word failure to sin in my own mindset so it’s not a large step to see that I have a fear of sinning (it’s an actual rational thing I’m anxious about, weird). And so my fear of failure contributes to a fear of sinning.
We all sin. We all make mistakes. We can choose to accept this or be afraid of it.
But when I read the words, “do not dwell on sinful things (flesh)”, I stopped dead in my tracks. Fearing sin is a way of dwelling upon sinful things and can get in the way of the Spirit working through us. To be afraid of sin is to say that sin has more power than the amazing power of Jesus’ death, sacrifice, and resurrection. Right away, God was saying to me, “This ain’t going to fly.”
So often we speak of being free from sin and death, emphasizing that we should not fear death for our resurrection will come. Today, the Spirit was emphasizing that we should not fear sin, for it does not rule in our lives. And whether or not you’ve ever feared failing God, this is a reality we need to speak about more often. Because sin is a reality that we all have to deal with NOW. And the only way to be rid of sin in our lives is to allow His power to take away our sin.
Yes, even pastors have issues sometimes seeing the amazing power of God over sin and can turn to religious living instead of being transformed. We just need reminded sometimes. And God was speaking to me in a big way today.
Don’t fear sin. Don’t fear mistakes that may never happen. Don’t be afraid of failing. God’s Spirit will guide you and keep you.
Blessings,
-M
